AKEEBA always had it right, even when my backend was saying differently.
Please reinstate JOOMLA UPDATE and then it is back to 5 stars!!
The Joomla! Update feature was removed from Admin Tools because its code was contributed back to Joomla!. In fact, it was included in Joomla! 2.5.15 and 3.2.0 (and later versions will still have it, of course). Think again before you penalise an extension developer because he decided to contribute his code, for free, to the very software product you use for your business. I would recommend that you read the "Motives for writing free software" (http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/fs-motives.html) to understand why the blackmail tone of your review is inappropriate and deeply offensive to this developer.